Christmas Time

I got a tree and set it up at the end of November. "But it's not December yet! It's November!" 

What should we get mom for Christmas? "Car cleaning towels. Police uniform. Books"

Blocked

For a couple of weeks, my texts weren't getting through to Evan. I would receive error messages. Finally, I asked to look at his phone and found that he had blocked my number.

Not that bad

I'm wearing an old yellow sweatshirt that was Blair's, until handed down to me, until handed down to Parker, until left for my dad to use. My sister-in-law asked if goodwill refused to take it (like Maria in the Sound of Music). 

An hour later, Evan asks me if I am going to go painting. 

It's not that bad!

I am. Not sick.

Evan is sick with a cold. The sicker he is, the stronger he denies it. 

Sneezing, coughing, he adamantly demands he should go to work.

How are you feeling, I ask. 

I am! He replies.

Be a good decoy

Yu-Gi-Oh!, Power Rangers, Justice League, and Scooby Doo are Evan's Netflix shows of choice these days. Perhaps he's been watching a little too much of the latest. When saying goodbye to Parker on the phone he said, "You're a good decoy. You're courageous and brave and strong."

While a kind compliment, using what Daphne or Velma would say to Scooby and Shaggy to convince them to be bait for a monster was pretty funny.

Brigham's gone? Shopping time!

Whenever I go out of town, Evan goes on a shopping spree. Tired of me getting him books and movies from the library and suspicious that I'm not actually buying him things on Amazon that take months to arrive, he supports local bookstores, Best Buy, and Target. His selections are often those with the highest markup, non-seasonal items that sell for 50-60% less online. 

After one trip, I saw his pile of loot and said, You've bought everything. He said, Yes, almost.

A day before I was flying to Texas for a weekend trip, Evan called me. Are you already in Texas? No. I came home to find he splurged early.

What time is it? It's closed.

Halfway through a ward fireside that was not at all about anything literary, Evan leaned over and whispered to me, "the library closed at 6." I said, "thanks." "And museums closed at 5", he continued. "You're right. Thanks," I replied.

Frequent Cleaning

On days that he works, Evan showers before taking the Google shuttle to work. He works out at the gym after his shift and showers again. Although he's a pretty hygienic guy, Evan thinks he is really going above and beyond what would be expected of a person.

Him: "I shower twice a day ... it's 25 times ... more or less ... I shampoo my head three times."

Me: "Good job"

Crowded

Evan had so many books, papers, CDs, and movies on his bed, that he took a nap on the floor.

General Conference

Watching General Conference with friends, Evan falls asleep and starts snoring. I send him a text saying, "you're snoring." His phone is not on silent. Evan wakes up, opens his phone, turns to me, and asks across the room, "what do you want?"

The Hardest Night of the Year

Daylight savings time adjustments are always rough. A random day when time (Evan's trusted, frequently checked constant) randomly shifts. It isn't natural. He doesn't like it. He doesn't trust it. 

We still discuss time zones and how our parents live in a different time than our brothers than our sister. Evan asks to double check that they really have a different time at the same time. 

To him, I surprisingly, casually decide to change the very clockwork of his life. And it happens late at night, sneakily, while he sleeps. 

Before going to bed last night, I changed the stove, microwave, and bathroom clocks. But Evan checked his own computer, clock, and phones, and they were on the old times. 

It is 11 o'clock! It isn't midnight. Jason, check your computer!

Since it wasn't 2am, it was still the old time. Evan spent an hour readjusting all of the clocks back to their proper time.

So this morning, with church starting in 30 minutes instead of 90 minutes, I restarted his phone (it updated the time) and adjusted his clock. 

Evan thought this was cheating. He was not amused. We were late.