Candy = Cavities

Evan has never really liked candy. Growing up, he was the best person to go trick-or-treating with because he would share everything except the peanut butter cups.

Showing that all of those dentist visits paid off, Evan strongly believes that eating candy gives cavities. Well. He believes that CHEWING candy gives cavities. So he swallows candy whole.

This is a clever strategy with small candy, but not with large candy. Normally, Evan would refuse any sized candy on principle; however, when everyone else is eating a shared snack, it is hard to refuse.

In a religion class at BYU, the professor passed around a bag of Peanut M&M’s. Evan grabbed a few, tossed them in his mouth and started choking. He teared up, slapped his chest, and said, "I'm ok!"

But Evan hadn't finished his handful. And every other student was still eating them. So he started to put more in his mouth.

To prevent premature death, I grabbed the rest away and put them in my mouth. Evan glared at me, waited until I thought I had won, then stood up, walked to the front of the class, grabbed a handful, turned to make sure we had eye contact, and put them in his mouth. He quickly swallowed. Victory over the oppressor of freedom!