Evan's Lists

Evan is a list-maker. He has his Christmas lists, his birthday lists, and now his blessing lists.

In the same conversation where he mentioned what he wants for Christmas he mentioned the things he wants for his New Years Father's Blessing.

Christmas Gifts

E: Who has me for Christmas?
B: I do
E: How many things did you get me?
B: One
E: I need four
B: I got you one
E: I need more than that
B: Maybe Santa will give you more

Christmas Gifts

Me: What should I get you from Christmas?

Evan: 22 movies.

Me: 22!?!?!

Evan: Oh, ok. Just 10.

Me: What 10?

Evan: Let me see... Let me see... Night at the Museum one. Madagascar three. Phineas and Ferb. Ant man.

Me: Ok. Just five.

Evan: I talk with mom and get more videos for my birthday.

No more test me

My dad likes to be inclusive by including Evan on family group texts. When it is to say, "I love you", "Happy Thanksgiving!", or "Missing you at Priesthood Session" then Evan seems to be okay with it.

This morning, we started a discussion about what food we'd like to eat over the holidays and asked for requests. It quickly turned from food to a dog for Christmas. But after 9 texts, Evan sent me the following:

"No more test me"

Now, as you may remember from an earlier post, I don't like calling Evan after he texts me, because then he does the same when I text him. But what on earth was I testing?!?

I called him. He asked us to stop texting him because he was working.

New Albums

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez each released new albums.

Yay.

Me: What's your favorite Bieber track?

Evan: 1...2...3...4...5...

Temple Recommend Renewal

Evan's temple recommend was about to expire, so I set up an appointment to get it renewed at the Stake Center. Evan called me one hour before the time we agreed to meet telling me he was ready, waiting for me at the T stop, and where was I? I told him I was still in my meeting, would be ready at our agreed-upon time, and perhaps he could wait at the library?

When we did meet up with just enough time to get to the church five minutes early, I was wearing chinos, brown dress boots, and a button up shirt. Evan was wearing flip flops, shorts, and our pink family reunion shirt.

So we went.

Arriving at the church, we swapped wardrobes. Wearing my pants and shirt with the legs and sleeves rolled up, Evan looked presentable as he walked into the Stake Presidency's office. Wearing his shorts but my socks and t-shirt, I did not look presentable as I hid in a classroom.

Revolutionary Connections

Evan and I went to Concord for some Revolutionary War experiences. As I tried to explain the North Bridge and which country was on which side, Evan started asking me questions:

• Did Captain American fight in the War of Independence?
• Are X-men soldiers buried here?
• Americans fought the British, like Pirates of the Caribbean?
• England came on boats across the Atlantic. Oh, we saw that [i.e. the Atlantic Ocean] on Thursday in Rhode Island.

Later, when we stopped by Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, he asked,

• Is this Sleeping Beauty?
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows?

Partners in Choices

I am trying to be better at incorporating Evan's preferences into our daily decision-making process. It isn't working well.

M: Do you want to stay in DC or drive to Richmond?

E: Yes.

M: Which one?

E: Sure.

M: Stay in DC?

E: Maybe.

M: Go to Richmond?

E: Maybe.

Thanks, Mom, for dinner

We used Mom's credit card to pay for a dinner. I said, Thanks Mom. Evan said, What Mom? She did not make this.

True.

Dangerous Movies

We recently visited our nieces and nephew in Wisconsin. Planning a movie to watch that night, Evan forbid using his own. "Can't watch my movies! Too dangerous for kids!"

Even More Texts

Evan and I have done a lot of joint travel in the past years. He gets bothered when he doesn't come along. I've started to get him some movies and books to be delivered when I leave. This was a bad precedent to start. I've been inundated with requests for DVDs the past few days. Today, he asked: "Is my packers day get tomorrow." He wanted to know if his package would arrive tomorrow since I was leaving tomorrow. Sadly, it wont come until early next week.

Church History

Direct quote: I watched Prince of Egypt years ago. In Boston. In Watertown. On Netflix. Yeah, it's church history.

Yes. Yes it is.

Texting, not calling

When Evan texts me, his message is often not clear nor understandable. So I often call him back instead of guessing. As a result, now when I text Evan he calls me back and asks me what I want. My texts are clear and understandable. I want him to read them. He is matching my behavior, which is both acceptable and ridiculous.

In a rare texting conversation without calling interruptions, we planned part of our return to Boston as follows:

E: I me park stree get poster me come back evan

M: what poster

E: my work

M: MIT or state Capitol

E: About you want a anything

M: Ok

E: You lot do thing get back boston

M: What things?

E: Mit homework

For Parker

Evan has loved "Shake It Up, Chicago" for a while, and Zendaya's amazingly repetitive song "Replay" is a new favorite. Apparently Parker introduced him to it, and Evan now wants to listen to it again and again. So when driving home last week, he made a music request. 

Can we play replay music? For Parker?

Yes. For Parker, we can.

I am on the internet

I showed Evan the BYU Computer Science homepage. He asked me, Oh, have you met that guy here in Boston? 

Then, Hey, that's you! Why are you on the internet?

Da Vinci at the MFA

Evan and I got cultural by going to the MFA. The library pass gets you in with half the price and part of my $60,000/year tuition covers free entrance to the local museums for MIT students.

There was an exhibit about Leonardo da Vinci and beauty. Basically, it was a bunch of sketches of ugly old men and beautiful young women.

As soon as we entered the exhibit, Evan had many questions for me:

1. Leonardo! Are the Ninja Turtles here?
2. Where's Michelangelo?
3. Where's Raphael?
4. Where's Donatello?

Later, we walked down a staircase that was part of a classically designed rotunda. Evan had many more questions for me:

1. Is this the capitol?
2. Where's George W. Bush?
3. Is Obama here?
4. Is "Night at the Museum" here?

How was your summer? I am going to Utah.

Evan the conversationist always has a go-to question and fun fact to share. His current question is, How was your summer? His current fun fact is, I am going to Utah in October.

This was his line at the temple recommend desk. With Anwar as he checked our receipt at Costco. While I was talking on speakerphone with the car mechanic. And to the information help desk guy at Boston Children's Hospital. He also asks me once or twice a day.

Funny Bones

I have never played nor even heard of the game Funny Bones. Basically, it is 3D Twister without the ground-sheet-circle-board. Each card has two different body parts that need to touch - elbow to head, knee to shin, toe to knee, hand to head, and the intimate nose to shoulder. Then you hold the card between the two body parts. The more cards your team can hold up at once, the more points you get. Basically, it is a BYU-approved touching game which also gets people comfortable with physical closeness. Evan loved it. When he had to put his hand on a girl's back he said, "Oh! I like this!"

More Texts

I don't know what it is about Evan texts that make me smile. When they are perfect English, I smile. When they are indecipherable Evanic, I smile.

Since we are packing up some stuff, I suggested we would take some stuff to Goodwill. I asked Evan if he had anything to give to poor people. He said no. Then when he left for work he texted me: "Do not tuhce anything sep why do good you."

Leaving a Man Behind

With all of the trips Evan and I have done together, he gets pretty disappointed when I leave him behind. In April I went to Florida without him. He felt jilted. Back in Boston we went at a munch-and-mingle after church and he was introducing himself to new people. We weren't next to each other, but definitely within hearing range. Evan went from person to person with this introduction:

Hi.
My name Evan.
Yours?
Where you from?
I from DC, St. Paul, Utah, and Florida.
Brigham went to Florida with Peachie and left me alone.

When? Where?

Some CES fireside speaker mentions Adam Ondi Ahman. Evan turns to me and animatedly says:

I went there.
You did not come.
Paige, Janney, and I were there.
Not you.
What year was that?

Weather Text

Evan loves to know the weather forecast. In Harvard Square, there are LCD screens that show the predictions for the next couple of days. He checks them religiously.

Evan saw a bad weather warning for Thursday evening, his normal temple night, so he texted me: "I not go temple bad thing about is big tuderstore night trueday."

Fettuccine Alfredo: EEEEH!

Evan loves fettuccine alfredo. It is his go to winner at Italian restaurants. Saturday we went out to eat to a family favorite local restaurant for Mom's birthday. After ordering our food, we went about our normal chit chat. Four out of the five of us chose the pan seared snapper. Evan was the only one to get something different. He got fettuccine alfredo. All of the fish came out at once. Then the server (who know us well) turned to Evan and said, Are you the guy who ordered the PB&J sandwich? With a quick response Evan horned, EEEEH. Wrong! and dismissed the idea with his hand in the air. Classic.

Why I Never Win at Scotland Yard

When we moved to Boston a year ago, Evan had a whole new city to learn. We practiced getting off the T at Harvard Sq., choosing the right exit, and walking to the chapel on Brattle Street. It is a confusing station with curving hallways and three exits. After doing it 2 times, he said he knew where to go and didn't need my help. The next week I decided to play James Bond and follow him.

I did a stakeout in the station and when I saw him walk near, I turned around to hide my face. He walked by, but took a wrong turn. Hoping it was a short-term error, I went another way to cut him off. Instead, I lost him.

I walked all over the station. In and out of every exit. Scanning my CharlieCard multiple times as I frantically searched. 

I called him once, and he said he was close to the church. So I walked to the church. He was not on the street. He was not at FHE in the church. 

I started calling too often, so he stopped answering. He didn't want to talk with me. He stopped answering texts. After 15 minutes unresponsive, I had my parents and siblings try to get a hold of him.

10 minutes later he answered and told me two cross streets he was near. Here was his walking path:

And showing why I am bad at Scotland Yard, here is my walking path: 

We finally made it to FHE, and I sat down next to my roommate. Not knowing of the previous 30 minute travails, he whispered to me, "Evan is much higher functioning than I thought!"

Winning an Argument

Evan sometimes disagrees with people. When an argument ensues, he applies two principles:

1. The most important task is to win
2. Logic is irrelevant

If a third person joins the conversation, it doesn't matter what that person says. Evan will claim that they are supporting his point of view, treat the statement as if it supports his point of view and finish the argument in his favor (even if it disagrees) with a "thank you." It's hilarious.

New TV Texts

While one of my goals in life is to never purchase a TV, one of Evan's big goals in life is to purchase a TV. Specifically a big black flat one bigger than he is to see every detail of every Harry Potter, LOTR, Star Wars, Michael Bay, and Jackie Chan movie ever made.

Our old roommate had a nice TV, but when he moved out, he took it with him. Evan was not pleased. How would he watch YouTube clips (he calls it Tribune)? How would he watch Wizards of Waverly Place? General Conference talks? Old N'YSNC and Backstreet Boys music videos?

He sent me a text a little before I went to bed: "Afater get back tiple we will get big new tv sep 2 buy at boston cocos."

We are planning on getting back to Boston from our summer trip at the beginning of September. Looks like the next day we need to stop by Costco.

Film Decorations

Evan loves movies. He watches at least one movie per day. Evan also loves decorating and reorganizing his room. He changes his decor at least once per day.

Evan also loves masking tape. Recently he went for the Hollywood look - he put up all of his movie posters and all of the DVD covers on one wall.

Ancestors While Waiting for McCullough

Evan and I stood in front of the Old Burial Ground in Harvard Square waiting for a speaking event by David McCullough. The gravestones were from the 17th-18th centuries but look like Dia de los Muertos.

Evan started asking me about the people buried there.

1. Any of our ancestors buried there?
2. What about Jared and Mary's?
3. How about Blair and Julie's?
4. What about Mom and Dad's?
5. What about our grandparents?
6. How about in Washington DC?

I need to go on FamilySearch and find an ancestor buried in Boston. If you know of one, let me know.

Respect

Evan can be a little glib in his requests. When it concerns food and dinner, he might even be a little demanding.

Evan: Brigham, give me bread.
Me: Please?
Evan: Give me bread, please, sir.
Me: Wo - too much respect.

Texting Skills

Evan is quite good at texting and at being diligent about attending FHE. Our group normally figures out when and where FHE will be the day of and sometimes the afternoon of. This does not gel well with Evan the Planner.

Monday morning, Evan texted me the following:

"F h e night is it church or home"

Pretty impressive.

Jack's Name

Evan likes kids. In controlled, muted doses. His cousin's cousin's kid Jack Christensen is a pretty chill, cool dude. He is only 1 years old, but is generally not a squealer.

At cousin dinner in April, Evan and Jack had a conversation. Of sorts. Jack doesn't know many words, so he just started speaking gibberish to Evan. Evan started talking right back. They both weren't listening to each other. They both kept talking. For like a minute. It wasn't so much a dialogue as two concurrent monologues.

Finally, Evan asked him a few questions:

• Hey Jack, what's your name?
• What's your name in Spanish?

Jack didn't reply and the conversation ended.

Texting

Evan texts me for four reasons:

• To request purchases from Amazon - 40%
• To ask about when I will be home, what we are doing, where I am - 30%
• To announce his position, his desires, or the weather - 20%
• To express praise or gratitude - 10%

They are sometimes funny, sometimes demanding, but normally delivered at a calm emotional level. Until tonight.

Me: Want some pasta?

Evan: Oh yes best bet on do it

A Printer

As a reincarnated 14th-century monk, Evan loves being able to quickly type and print the written word. This technology speeds up his transcribing of the scriptures, general conference talks, and the memoir he is writing. Evan loves having a printer and thinks it is pretty amazing.

As his source of laptops, paper, and ink, I enable his passion for printing. When I stopped by today, I was impressed with what appeared to be a book - typed and taped in a corner of his room. Also, we are out of black ink.

Something Stressful

My life was stressful in May. There was lots of uncertainty about housing, employment, and relationships. Evan apparently caught on to the uncertainty, because he started asking me very specific questions about the future - where are we going to live? what are we going to do? when will Parker visit? etc. Evan is a planner and things either happen or don't - so he needed answers.

One afternoon when we were driving I couldn't hear him very well because the windows were open and the radio was on. And I probably was not very excited to talk about probabilities and options. After mumbling some lame responses to his first questions, I had to ask him two or three times to repeat his last question.

Finally I rolled up the window and turned off the music and asked him to repeat his question. He said, "Something, something, something."

Sushi

The MIT Sloan cafeteria has cheap sushi. It tastes like pre-made refrigerated 8-buck sushi. When Evan gets it for lunch, he feels like a cultured king feasting.

Knowing that he loves eating out, had been at home too much lately and our evening plans had fallen through, I suggested we go out to eat. He agree quickly and asked where. I suggested the sushi place near our house. He point his finger at me, and approved with a smile and a click.

Despite how much Evan claims to like sushi, there is probably no other food that is constructed to be so difficult for a Downsy-boy to eat. Sushi rolls are just big enough that if you have a Down Syndrome-sized mouth (small) and a Down Syndrome-sized tongue (large) that they don't fit. Add poor fine motor skills and a stubborn social tendency to refuse accommodations. Finally eat where chopsticks are given and forks would need a special request. Ah. That was dinner.

Sushi is meant to be eaten in one bite. Small bites or piercing the seaweed/rice hoop with the chopsticks made every roll start to fall into pieces on his plate. Good thing Evan was hungry. He persevered and somehow made those two sticks stick in the food enough to bring it to his mouth.

A normal dinner budget spent on sushi does not go as far as cheap, plentiful, filling pasta. As we were walking back from the sushi restaurant we talked.

Me: Are you full or still hungry?
Evan: Keep going... Haven't had dessert yet!

Why Me?

At a recent cousin dinner, Brooke and Derek were trying to convince Grace that she should join them on a vacation. She'd get free travel and food; they'd get free a nanny. I volunteered Evan for the job. He quickly replied, "Wait! Why, why, why me?!?"

Parker's Visit

Parker's visit to Boston has been announced, prophesied, awaited, predicted, and asked about more in the last 6 months than any other event. Well, besides whoever's birthday is next.

The latest date was May 1st. We were really hoping for that one. Ok. I was really hoping for that one so Parker would go see Avengers 2 and I could go do anything else.

Still, we hope that someday soon he'll be able to come visit. Every once in a while, Evan will ask me questions about Parker's visit:

• Will we go to this place when Parker visits?
• Where will we eat when Parker visits?
• Will Parker come to my work when he visits?
• Will we go see the sea lions with Parker when he comes?

We talked about transportation yesterday:

Evan: Will Parker drive a car when he comes?

Me: Can he drive a stick? (my car is a manual transmission)

Evan: Not a stick! A car!

Me: You're right.

Guest Writer Post

This blog has featured Evan for months. But it seems unfair that his voice is always represented through my interpretations and translations. So, to describe our recent road trip from Boston to Florida, in unfiltered unedited Evanic, here is Evan:

Good     fun    work   plan    that you lesion hard people      study      reading   bastion

Church    thing    want something       place   see today    best   time   kwon is       so    

Home qbb    food    I  like    anything        love  so      people       have  things for niver        go  on  

Duck     school       place city  hstroy        good       tacking        does       right      got    put      day    weeday   summer vaction    

Piano Playing

Evan's friend who gives him a ride to the temple had a piano recital. It was seven 8-yr old boys and this 24-yr old friend. Pretty brave of her.

Some other friends were with us in the audience. The kids were playing songs that were 40-180 seconds long. Stopping in-between for applause.

Evan asked, "where is Mariah? Is she playing?"

When another friend didn't clap between two 20-second songs of a young boy, Evan asked, "Why aren't you clapping?" He answered, "I am texting."

The cookies were amazing. I had 2 and tried to have 3.

Old

Evan: Our family is old. Mom and Dad met 100 years ago.
Me: What?!?
Evan: Oh, oh, sorry. 33 years.

I'm Talking Here

Conversation dynamics can be tricky for normal people to understand, follow, and master. Conversational turn taking is an art. Evan doesn't always follow the right time to interrupt, to volunteer new information, or to just listen.

Sometimes I will be talking with another person and Evan will interrupt a couple of times. After 3 times, I will ask him to not interrupt. Apparently, I do not do this softly enough or in a way that models how to do it properly. At a later time, if I interrupt his conversation according to proper Western conversation rules and when my information is needed, Evan will correct me and say, "excuse me, I am talking here!"

Once he and I were having a conversation and he was in the middle of a point when I interrupted him. He said, "hey, I'm talking to Brigham here!"

Dad's Socks

I bought Evan new socks from Costco. Knowing that a number of his current collection have holes in them, I started going through his sock drawer to find 7-8 socks to throw away.

Then I found one of my missing church socks. And then another. And another.

Stealing dress socks from me! Who does he think I am?! Our Dad?!

Why were we on time to church today?

Because our ward runs at the same time as another (combining Sunday Schools), we start at 8:50am. Normally, Sacrament Meeting starts and ends on the hour. Our ward in DC sometimes started on the half-hour. But 10 minutes early is just a hard concept to remember.

Perhaps Evan thinks it is me using one of my oft-used ploys to get us on time by saying we need to leave earlier than we really do. Perhaps my brother just wants to sleep in more. He wishfully asks when we are going to switch meeting times, like we've done in the past, but the Boston YSA wards do not rotate every year. Evan, normally a punctual man, seems to forget that we really do start at 8:50 and not 9am. We leave home closer to 8:40 or 8:45 and even though there is no traffic, there is no chance of us getting there on time.

As a result, we have arrived early to church twice since we moved here in September. One of those days was today. And the reason was Institute.

Evan loves Institute. It is a key part of his Wednesday schedule. He has been attending it since he went to BYU and he loves being able to choose his teachers and the subjects. Evan comes more prepared than any other student - he has his physical scriptures, the student manual for the course, and a notebook to take notes.

After institute a month ago, I saw Evan talking with his instructor. The brother asked for the make-up lessons and Evan gave them to him. I didn't know Evan needed to do so; I didn't know why he needed to do so. Turns out, Evan has attended enough institute classes that he qualified from a diploma, if he passed this most recent class. With his own initiative to complete the work, he made this achievement.

And today was the day for the diploma to be presented in Sacrament Meeting. So we were not late to church. The Bishop called Evan to the front, said a few words, and the boy was pleased as punch.

I didn't take a picture in the chapel. The boy could not stop smirking. He was very proud. I took a quick pic before Priesthood and he was still smiling.

Texts

Evan is really quite skilled at texting. It is all the more impressive because he has a flip phone, so he has to push each button multiple times accurately.

Lately I have had the random thought that it might be enjoyable to translate a short poem or story from Greek or Spanish into English. I haven't done it yet, but here is my attempt to translate Evanic into English.

Original text: Armoex gomez book sooccer math mual gosple mual. Free to me.
Translation: On Amazon, buy a Selena Gomez and soccer book, and a math manual, and a gospel doctrine manual for me for free.

Original text: You go to new york see taylor suift court yes or no text time
Translation: Are you going to New York City? Will we see a Taylor Swift concert? Text me what time the concert is.
Back story: NYC tourism has put up ads in all of the bus stops that feature Taylor Swift's song "welcome to New York" and other phrases. Evan's been on a Taylor Swift kick lately.

A Bad Haircut

I have been cutting Evan's hair since I got back off my mission. He seems satisfied with the results, but loves the independence of going to a barbershop on his own, telling the guy how short he wants it, and paying himself.

Sitting across the table from Evan at lunch I noticed that his bangs were crooked. Like really crooked, one side a good centimeter above the other.

Me: Evan, did you cut your hair?
Evan: No, I went to the barber.
Me: Why is one side crooked, shorter than the other side?
Evan: Like this? (he says while holding his hands tilted 45-degrees)
Me: Yes.
Evan: Oh cool. Haha! Like Parker! Haha (he says while smiling and running his fingers through his hair like it's a luxurious mane)

No Goodbyes

Evan doesn't like saying, "Goodbye." Now to be honest, neither do I. Instead of trumpeting my departure to all present, I prefer to just slip out quietly from a party. My Irish Exit or French Leave probably annoys some people, but I guess the point is that I understand the emotion that could be behind Evan's baffling behavior:

Normally, at the end of a phone call, Evan just hangs up. No "goodbye." No "see you later." Nothing. I always have to look at the phone and see that the call ended a few seconds ago to know we had finished talking. But lately he has started ending his calls with a "love you" or a "see you soon." It has been lovely.

Movies in General

Evan loves seeing movies in the movie theater.

He believes that the opening date is THE day to the see the movie. If it comes out May 2nd, then by golly, we should be there on May 2nd ready to watch the newest Marvel/Michael Bay/Jackie Chan film. It is the date on the trailers and posters!

Since Evan likes to make plans for the future, he mentions movie release dates, where we will be, and who we will see them with. Thankfully, many movies are released around major holidays when Evan's other siblings are around who like to see these movies more than I do.

I think Evan likes movies so much because he becomes totally enveloped in the action. When Evan watches movies, it is virtual reality. Immersed in the story he throws punches, dubs lines, and lives in the film. But he hates 3D and IMAX.

Marriage

May 1st is my parents anniversary. I sent them a text.

Evan somehow found out too. Maybe he remembered. He's pretty good at these kinds of things and thinks they are important to remember and celebrate.

He came up to me at home and said the following:

Mom and Dad got married! Have you heard of it? Have you told Blair or Mackey?

Avengers 2

In my greatest act of selfless service and kindness so far in the month of May, I organized a group to go see Avengers 2 so Evan could see it. After helping coordinate the theater, time, and ensuring it would not be 3D, it didn't seem appropriate for me to back out over the little fact that I hate Marvel movies.

Evan loved the movie. He couldn't stop smiling afterwards. His favorite character was "speedy" - his nickname for Quicksilver, who has flash-like abilities. And Captain America, of course.

As we were driving home after the movie, Evan and I chatted in the car.

Evan: I need Avengers number 2 poster
Me: Ok. We can see about that.
Evan: You can buy it tomorrow.
Me: But tomorrow's Sunday.
Evan: Yep.
Me: But it's the Sabbath Day. We shouldn't buy things.
Evan: Ok. Monday.

Evan is expectantly looking forward to Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, the new Spider-Man trilogy, Thor: Ragnarok, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1, Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Avengers: Infinity War Part 2, and Inhumans. And of course, any other Marvel Cinematic Universe films they decide to make for Phase IV and release in 2020 and beyond. Oh, and then there's all of the DC Cinematic Universe films too: Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad, Wonder Woman, Justice League Part One, The Flash, Aquaman, etc, etc, etc.

Finger Stitches Follow-up

After being surrounded by lawn-mowing siblings for two decades, Evan decided it was time for him to learn. In Arlington, we had a push mower. We were the second American household to purchase such a machine since my grandfather in 1962. I loved it and it seemed pretty safe, so I taught Evan how to push it around.

Evan would spend a good 10-15 minutes "mowing" the lawn and it would look like this:

After Evan got stitches in his finger he was supposed to not use his finger for a month, but he still wanted to mow the lawn every few days. His finger wasn't healing, so I told him not to mow. Then I would leave for work and he would mow. How many adults have gotten angry at their teenage-minded son mowing the lawn too frequently?

I told him mowing counted as using his finger. He said it was just his hands. 

Finally, I had brilliant inspiration:

His finger healed in a week. He got the stitches out. And he stopped mowing the lawn.

Riding Separately and Avengers

Evan is proud of his independence. He loves it when he is able to commute, order, eat, and live independently. One situation where he can do this is when riding public transportation and in planes.

When we get on the bus or T, he sees where I am going to sit and makes sure to find another seat 10-20 feet away. Within sight and sound, but not next to me.

Last time we were flying together, he asked on the jet-bridge if we were sitting next to each other. I said no. He smiled and nodded.

A kind and well-intentioned ticketing-desk lady once offered to change our seats so we could sit next to each other. I explained the reason and she smiled and nodded.

Two days ago Evan and I were riding the bus home. He was sitting 3 rows in front of me. After listening to his music for 12 minutes, he called my name, "Brigham! 9 more days until Avengers!" I smiled and nodded.

Oh please, Universe, send someone else to go see this movie with Evan!

4:26pm

For a couple years, Evan had an alarm set at 4:26pm. It wasn't that he couldn't turn it off or change it - Evan knows how to use cellphones better than I do.

I would ask him why he has that alarm, and he would just smile. Normally, he'd've forgotten to silence his phone, and he would rush to squeeze it out of his pocket, open the flip-phone, and turn it off. I'd ask, again, why does he have this alarm if it is so inconvenient. And he would just smile.

Maybe he saw a certain girl every day at 4:26.

Maybe he had a vision at 4:26 years ago and wants to remember the spiritual experience.

Maybe he was just proud of being able to program the alarm on a cellphone.

A Healthy Hearty Appetite

Evan pleases any cook. He is willing to eat almost anything. In years of cooking for him, he has only refused seconds for borscht. If asked, Evan will say his favorite dessert is Crème brûlée. Here are a few short stories about Evan and his appetite.

I walk into the kitchen in the morning and Evan is finishing off some ice cream. "Why are you eating ice cream?" "Breakfast!"

Tyler, Jason and I are sitting on the couch talking about something: eating, food, Evan, dinner, cooking, kitchen, or meals. Evan yells down the stairs, “I’m starving!"

Priesthood session of General Conference starts in 5 minutes. If we walk fast, we can make it to the chapel in time. I holler up the stairs, "Evan, are you ready to go?!" "No, D-I-N-E-R!"

Job Interview

Evan asks me what degree he is studying for: A masters? MBA? What, none? But I have scholarship!

I think he gets confused because he dresses more business than me, uses a business briefcase while I use Blair's decade-old high-school backpack, and he is clean-shaven more frequently than I am. How could I be doing graduate school (again?!) and he not? I guess it seems greedy.

Another similarity, we both are doing lots of job interviews. But apparently, he is much better at them than me.

Last week we met with the legislative aide to a state senator and Evan was handsome, prepared, and professional. He and the lady had a conversation where I was only a translator for two questions. Evan was excited, explained his previous experience, chose his work hours and work days. When asked if he wanted the job, he said, "of course!" He showed that he knew how to commute, shake hands, and win over interviewers quickly.

Well done son!

A Jersey of Sadness

For Evan, movies and television shows are not just reality shows - they are reality. He gets so into the environment, characters, drama, and action that he swings his arms in epic Middle-earth battles, swoons over Sharpay's dance moves, and sings along with Joseph and his 11 brothers.

Such strong belief makes the world a more interesting place, but can also make the world a more disappointing version of the exciting stories from TV and movie theaters.

One of Evan's biggest disappointments ever was a magic jersey that was more like a sweater. The Disney TV show "The Jersey" was five years of body-transportation sports adventures. The main character was a young teen who would put on his dad's old jersey and magically become a different sports star during their big game.

My dad is very considerate and thoughtful. So he contact the producer of the show and got one of the props from the TV show. What a score! What a great Christmas gift!

When Evan saw it, he was also very excited. Ready for adventure, he pulled it over his head.

And stayed in our family room.

He complained that it didn't work and we did not have a good defense for that.

A couple of years later. Perhaps after the wound had healed, he put on a happy face while wearing the sweater.

Hipster Food

Evan and I were at a social event with a lot of hipster food. Everything was gluten-free. Whole forests of baked kale. Some sort of healthy versions of what normally is delicious. What appeared to be small baked cookies were actually quinoa mush-balls with unidentifiable fruit-ish fillings. Salad and salad and salad.

Then in the back, in a big bowl, there were what looked like dried-meat dog chew toys. They were mostly orange, sinewy, with some lighter-looking ligaments surrounding darker-looking muscle.

With the person who prepared all of the food 5-feet away, Evan picked up one and took a bite.

"Agh! That's horrible!"

I was serving up my own plate and quickly turned my head away because I couldn't stop smiling. For the next 7 minutes. Just a big, wide, open smile.

It was dried grapefruit.

Singing in Choir

Evan loves singing. Besides Parker, he is the only other child who carried on my father's passion for choir. Sorry, Dad.

Based on his success singing in Armstrong choirs, after a few years at BYU, Evan said he wanted to join BYU's choir. The lowest level choir doesn't require auditions, Evan follows the conductor well enough to stop singing when everyone else does, and he loves belting out notes, so it was worth a try.

The rehearsal room was in a theater in the HFAC, so I went with him to find the room. This wasn't a class he could just sit in the back - there were seating charts, sheet music, dress rehearsals, etc. What a tender mercy that as we walked through the lobby we ran into our cousin Mariah. She asked what we were up to and we explained. Then Mariah said, "I am one of the conductors of the choir!" What a blessing.

She took care of him, smoothed wrinkles, and the opportunity was amazing. We are so grateful to Mariah and for other people at BYU who helped enrich Evan's experience. He felt welcomed and he was able succeed.

Watch the performance here. He likes singing in concerts. He really likes seeing himself on the big screen.

Gloria

I got Evan a small carved hippopotamus from South Africa. It was likely made in China. When he unwrapped it, Evan immediately had a few questions:

Why didn't you give this to me yesterday?
Is this Gloria? Like Madagascar?
Did you see her?
Did you feed hippopotamuses? Like on your mission?

Paramedic at the Pentagon

Every Wednesday, Evan would meet me at the Pentagon for lunch. All of the security guys got to know him and he got in easier than anybody except a four-star general. One officer would ask about him every time I saw him for months after Evan stopped coming. When I would bring other friends in for tours, they would be so impressed by the friendliness of a place that greets me, one of 20,000+ employees, with a "Hey, how's your brother doin'?" Evan is famous like that.

Every week we would get some fast food, and I let him pay, but I always met him out front first. One day I met him and he was with a police officer and his hand was bloody. He had cut his finger on a kitchen knife at home, bled all over the kitchen and bathroom, washed his finger, wrapped his hand in paper towel, and then taken the bus to meet me. Thank goodness I worked only 1 mile from home and that my office had a flexible schedule and understanding boss.

The officer had stopped Evan to give him a bandaid and a new papertowel, but you couldn't tell how deep the cut was and it was still bleeding, so they offered to call EMS.

I didn't know what to do. I pictured 2-3 nurses with better bandaids and a knowledge of finger-cut depths and solutions. So I said sure.

A firetruck showed up five minutes later.

That was the only med unit available, and they were prepared for bigger stuff than a cut finger. After three minutes of firefighter support, an EMS ambulance also arrived.

After the firetruck left, a medic washed his finger, put on a bandaid, the bleeding stopped, and he said Evan needed stitches. We took a bus to a nearby urgent care center and three stitches later we headed to Costco for lunch and antibiotics from the pharmacy.

Driving later that day to Alexandria for a meeting, Evan started waving his injured hand around. He smiled and said, "See, I can still conduct music!"

Hungry Communication

Evan and I spent nearly $90 on groceries last Saturday.

He just texted me at 6:09pm: " Get    me    food"

A Bug's Life

Evan and I were eating lunch at our dining room table when a small small bug, a fruit-fly or gnat as small as a dot, skittered around beside his fork.

He watched it for a while and then exclaimed: "Oh, it's you! I like insects."

Then squish.

Evan Skiis

Evan loved skiing in Utah. The instructors were his favorite type of people: the male instructors were cool, bearded men's men who thought Evan was cool; the female instructors were beautiful, long-haired models who thought Evan was cute.

Our last instructor used one of those chair-uni-ski things because his legs were weak, but was totally with it otherwise. This guy was like a Special Olympics gold medalist. On the first lesson, he wanted Evan to go down the bunny hill to see how he could ski.

Evan got off the chair lift and started going really slow. Like 1/4-1/8 as fast as normal. When I asked him why, Evan said, "we need go slow because of him."

A Call Goodnight

Evan called me an hour ago.

"Hey Brigham. You leave tomorrow Africa. Goodbye. I love you. Miss you. You need to go to bed Mister. Get good rest. Lots of things to do tomorrow."

Boxing Class

Evan recently started learning to box. He has watched enough action movies to be inspired and he loved practicing with a punching bag in our old house. After a few private lessons to get the basics, he joined a beginners class.

Evan: How many guys at boxing class group?
Me: 3-5
Evan: How many girls?
Me: 1-2
Evan: What?!! Are you kidding me?!? Are you joking on me??!!

He doesn't like a venue with such bad odds.

Conjoin Analysis

Evan is a nester. He rearranges his room weekly. His walls constantly morph into different collages of sports magazine cutouts, printed pictures of Selena Gomez, Avengers stickers, and three large Selena Gomez posters. All of these rely on a ready supply of push pins and soft sheetrock walls.

When we moved into our house in Boston, we had to decide which room each of us should live in. One of our roommates created a spreadsheet with the # of windows, closet size, which floor, direction of view, and other considerations. I helped Evan choose his room based on what I understood his preferences to be.

I made a mistake. Evan called me, which he does once a fortnight when something has gone wrong.

Evan: Brigham! I need to switch rooms!
Me: Why?
Evan: I can't hang my posters. The walls are too hard!

I found him some tape to hang his pictures and he's been happy in there ever since.

Happy Birthday Mackey!

On Sunday Evan and I were driving in a snowstorm (when is it not a snowstorm in Boston this winter?). It was Mackey's birthday, so after singing "happybirthdayhappybirthdayhappybirthday to you!" and talking about life, he hung up and we chatted a little.

Evan: Mackey is all grown up.
Me: Yeah, she's 20. She's not a baby girl anymore.
Evan: She's NOT a baby! She's tall! She's the BEST girl!
Me: You're right. Sorry. Not a baby. Totally tall. She's great.

Questions

Evan loves to ask questions that begin, "What is better...?" Sometimes the questions are very deep, confusing, or meta and I just don't know what to say. Most of the time, the options are difficult to compare or not socially acceptable to compare: temples, people, experiences, testimonies, dates, or friends.

"What is better: earth, summer, or June?"

Who's the best singer: Justin Bieber, Shake It Up, or this (MoTab)?

Do you like dogs, wolves, or werewolves? I like puppies.

Which temple is better: this one, Boston, DC, or Provo?

What is better: Chicago or New York?

Honesty

I admire Evan's honesty. While others ignore the elephant in the room or avoid dealing with a visible and obvious problem, he confronts it. The issue is addressed, solved, and life goes on. Sometime this is done more abruptly than optimal, but it can also be quite funny.

When I had my masters thesis defense I invited a couple of friends, male and female. But only the guys came. Nobody mentioned anything until Evan entered the room and loudly asked, "Hey Brigham! Where are the girls?!?"

Cavities. Again.

Evan rarely gets cavities (see earlier candy swallowing post), but he had two the other day. The dentist said Evan needs to do a better job of brushing.

Since I hadn't seen his tube of toothpaste get smaller in weeks, I thought to intervene. In trying to be a better older-brother-with-slight-parental-responsibilities-but-no-authority, I tried to use questions to encourage behavior without dictating the solution:

Me: "How long should you brush your teeth?"
Evan: "3 hours."
Me: "How about 2 minutes?"
Evan: "3 hours!"
Me: "30 seconds?"
Evan: "ok, 4 hours."
Me: "How about 20 seconds. 1. 2. 3.4...20" <<done while pantomiming brushing>>

Communication

Sometimes I feel like Evan and I are this old married couple. Especially when we get mail addressed to "Brigham & Evan Wilson".

This also happens when Evan uses married communication methods to tell me what to do. We were at a Celtics game and Evan was hungry. He had already told me earlier in the day how he was excited to eat dinner at the basketball game because they would have "great food". I hate paying for overpriced not-tasty food, so I told him to bring his wallet.

6 minutes after sitting down, Evan turned to me and asked:

Evan: Are you hungry? Did you have dinner?
Me: Can we wait until the second quarter?
Evan: I want a sandwich.

Now the same dialogue with translation:

Evan: Get me food! Please.
Me: I don't want to. I hate basketball. I hate this experience except for the joy on your face.
Evan: Get me a sandwich! Please.

So I put down my book and got a slice of pizza, two drinks, and two hot dogs for $34 dollars.

Cell Phone Contacts

Evan is very efficient with his cell phone. He optimizes which short film clips, pictures, and address book entries are the optimal mix. Unfortunately, he must think that a contact takes up 1MB, because he purges that list more than I purge my Facebook friends.

Tyler is one of my favorite people and Evan considers him a good friend. We were roommates for nearly a year until the house we were renting got sold. Sadly, we had to split up: Evan and I stayed in the neighborhood, but Tyler moved to Bethesda, MD to be closer to work.

Less than a month after Tyler moved away, we met up for dinner and went to P.F. Chang's. As we were walking to the restaurant, Evan made an announcement

Evan: I deleted you from my phone.
Tyler: You deleted me?!? Why?
Evan: Because you move away!You on red line!

A 30 minute drive, a 45 minute ride on the Metro Red Line, Tyler was dead to Evan.

When we moved to Boston, Evan deleted me from his phone. Why? "Because you moved from DC." With him.

Pregaming

The other day we were invited over for dinner at our cousins'. I came down to the kitchen to get ready to leave and I found Evan in the kitchen getting his own dinner ready. He had not forgotten about our appointment. He was simply hungry.

Me: Evan! We're going to dinner soon! Why are you eating?
Evan: Dinner is at 6:30.

It was 6pm.

It's Natural

Evan is very comfortable with his body. Okay. Probably a little too comfortable. He isn't an exhibitionist, he is simply efficient when going to and from the shower. Blame wrestling or football in high school, but my brother just doesn't care or see anything wrong with walking around in the suit his mother gave him.

When we moved to Boston, we stayed at our cousin's house. From our cousin-once-removed's bedroom that we were using, we had to walk five feet in a hallway off the kitchen to get to the bathroom.

I was in the kitchen. Evan walked to the bathroom. He was not well covered.

Me: "Evan! You can't walk around naked here with the little kids!"
Evan: "It wasn't me!"

Evan in Winter

Evan is hard core. When a foot of snow fell only a few days after 2 feet of snow, he trudged off along un-shoveled sidewalks, caught a bus, caught the T, and showed up for work. There were about 4/57 people there due to the weather. He worked his full time, studied in the library, trudged uphill home, and then started shoveling the driveway.

Despite his strength, Evan seems to be tired of winter. He lasted pretty long, considering I have been tired of winter since that first cloudy cold day November.

Evan: Is March Spring in Boston?
Me: No. Spring here is in like April or even May.
Evan: What temperature is it in March?
Me: 20's and 30's.
Evan: What temperature is it in April?
Me: 30's and 40's.
Evan: What temperature is it in May?
Me: 40's and 50's.
Evan: oh :(

He wasn't satisfied with my answers. Sadly, neither was I.

Candy = Cavities

Evan has never really liked candy. Growing up, he was the best person to go trick-or-treating with because he would share everything except the peanut butter cups.

Showing that all of those dentist visits paid off, Evan strongly believes that eating candy gives cavities. Well. He believes that CHEWING candy gives cavities. So he swallows candy whole.

This is a clever strategy with small candy, but not with large candy. Normally, Evan would refuse any sized candy on principle; however, when everyone else is eating a shared snack, it is hard to refuse.

In a religion class at BYU, the professor passed around a bag of Peanut M&M’s. Evan grabbed a few, tossed them in his mouth and started choking. He teared up, slapped his chest, and said, "I'm ok!"

But Evan hadn't finished his handful. And every other student was still eating them. So he started to put more in his mouth.

To prevent premature death, I grabbed the rest away and put them in my mouth. Evan glared at me, waited until I thought I had won, then stood up, walked to the front of the class, grabbed a handful, turned to make sure we had eye contact, and put them in his mouth. He quickly swallowed. Victory over the oppressor of freedom!

One Direction

I went downstairs to give Evan books to return to the library and a piece of paper he needed. He pointed to the place on the floor for the books. When he saw the paper, he said great. And then he casually pointed at the door without making eye contact. It was gentle, elegant, and effective - a refined dismissal.

Evan in Heaven

We finally made it to Universal Studios. Harry Potter Land was not as big of a hit as seeing his real life heroes in real life.

First Evan discussed superpowers with Captain America. Mainly, he bragged that he could fly. Then they both did some power poses.

The Green Goblin asked if Evan knew who he was. Yes, he did. The Spider-man ride was a highlight.

Evan and his nieces and nephew

Evan loves kids. In theory. And in small, quiet, controlled moments away from his possessions and when he is not listening to music or watching a movie or playing a big kids game. Evan is loving and protective and considerate.

In Florida, we were getting ready for the kids to come down and we were rocking out to Selena and Bieber. Evan brought up a concern about whether the music he listens to would be appropriate for them or not:

Evan: Oh, Brigham. Eden and Dean don't like Justin Bieber.
Me: Evan, neither do we.
Us: laughter and apologies

Evan also enjoys teaching younger and less experienced people. I think he has experienced enough tutoring and explanations to want to pass on to the next generation. During dinner, Evan began testing Eden's math skills. She was getting a lot of his basic elementary number questions right, so he raised his game to advanced topics learned at university.

Evan: What is Florida plus eight plus Wisconsin?
Eden: ??????????
Evan: It's math. In miles.
Eden: ??????????

Signs

Evan loves signs. Birthdays must have a birthday sign. Returning from a mission must have a welcome home sign. Graduation parties must have a congratulations sign.

Knowing this, since I drove up to Boston before he flew up, I made him a small sign that said, "Evan. Welcome to Boston!" I colored it and hung it in a visible place.

When he walked in the door, Evan read the sign and asked, "Who is Evan?... Oh, is it my name?"

Evan's Birthday

Evan is a planner. He loves schedules. Evan thinks ahead and figures out what should be done and when.

His birthday is the most important day of the year and it is planned days, weeks, months, and even years in advance. We had restaurants selected for dinner in 2015, 2016, and 2017 while we lived in Washington DC.

Evan also plans gifts. He texted our cousin what he wanted a month ago and he has shown me multiple lists.

Soon Soon Soon

Evan just asked me who's birthday is next. Punk. It's his birthday in less than a week.

I responded by saying, "mine!"

He was not amused. He threw up his hands in disgust and said, "no! It's mine!"

So I asked him why he asked then. He didn't respond.

Another Late Night Emergency

At 1am, I woke up, but I didn't know why. The house was dark and I didn't hear any steps. Then the door bell rang. Then it quickly rang again. And immediately again and again and again.

I went downstairs and checked the back door. Nobody was there. I went around to the front door and Evan was outside with a flashlight.

"I cannot find my cell phone charger."

We went to bed and I gave him mine the next morning.